Pearl or Ivory: AI Slop
General George Patton is known for wearing two revolvers. Were they pearl-handled, ivory-handled, or something else? While the correct answer is not important historically, it is important as an indicator of historical accuracy.
Half the AI-generated videos I have watched that refer to Patton say pearl, and the other half say ivory. Which ones are presenting facts, and which are false? How does this happen?
As I wrote previously, AI is an internet-scouting program that reports what it finds, factual or not. If it can’t find anything, it reports what it finds statistically “close”. If pearl-handled revolvers appear frequently, as in stories about riverboat gamblers, they become predominant. Ivory-handled revolvers are historically less common. If AI says Patton had pearl-handled revolvers, that is added to the internet data stores. If AI says they were ivory, that, too, is added.
When did Omar Bradley and George Patton threaten to resign their commands if Montgomery were given command of all Allied land forces in Europe? What most AI-generated stories agree about is that this was prompted by a speech Montgomery made on January 7, 1944. Nonetheless, several AI-generated stories claim these resignation threats were made on January 6. I’ve seen several instances where AI scrambles the timeline. These were historically significant events that teach lessons. Getting the sequence wrong corrupts that lesson. It corrupts cause and effect.
There are AI accounts of the Battle of Midway that claim it was a strategic blunder by Yamamoto. There are human-generated accounts that claim it was a tactical blunder by Nagumo. Both could be right, but the “facts” of the battle support the tactical blunder narrative.
The Japanese fleet did not know the number or location of American aircraft carriers. Only the carrier Hiryu was kept as a reserve to counter this unknown. Japanese fixation on neutralizing Midway Island led to the use of aircraft that would have been better kept in reserve, given the unknown disposition of American carriers. The Japanese capital ships that could have carried out the assault on Midway were 300 miles away. Using aircraft to “soften” Midway was not necessary. The AI-driven conclusion is unsupported and teaches the wrong lesson. It doesn’t know the difference between strategy and tactics.
What did the Führerbunker smell like on various dates in March 1945? Was it heavy with the smell of stale cigarette smoke, or wet concrete, or damp wool? AI-generated narratives claim any or all three.
How does the AI know how the bunker smelled? It’s not mentioned in anyone’s post-war memoirs or captured documents. It just makes for what AI is taught to be good storytelling. Include the sights, sounds, and smells, whether they are substantiated or not.
Hitler was not a smoker and abhorred smoking. It was not allowed in the bunker, so where did AI get the idea that the bunker smelled of cigarette smoke? It made it up.
There are a lot of AI-generated narratives that describe sights, sounds, and smells without any historical evidence. It seems to be a compulsory part of every narrative. The priority is good storytelling, not accuracy.
How many German troops were involved in the Battle of the Bulge? AI-generated narratives claim between 200,000 and 400,000. It can’t be both. When did Patton suspect Germany might launch an Ardennes offensive? AI narratives give different dates, while some tell the story as if Patton never had any suspicion and never prepared his army to respond until the last moment.
I’ve been hard on AI lately, and I think justifiably so from what I have seen. AI is not a good history teacher. AI is a poor judge when drawing conclusions. Yet AI narratives present themselves as incontestable fact. If you didn’t know what the Führerbunker smelled like, you are historically ignorant, and AI is going to fill you in on that critically important information, or so it would contend.
Be careful. AI is nothing close to being intelligent or truthful.
Tony Rubolotta is an independent new media journalist.
